


The Price of Being Bold

by Sir_LanceThot



Category: Arthurian Mythology & Related Fandoms, Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975), Monty Python's Spamalot
Genre: Human/Monster Romance, Is it polyamory if three of them share the same body?, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Robin’s a monster fucker except he’s ace
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-15
Updated: 2020-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:21:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23156989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sir_LanceThot/pseuds/Sir_LanceThot
Summary: Robin accepted the Three Headed Knight’s invitation for tea and is left with some new emotions
Relationships: Sir Robin/Three Headed Knight (Monty Python and the Holy Grail)
Kudos: 10





	The Price of Being Bold

_“Bravely bold Sir Robin,_

_Went off to see his love,_

_He was yearning to be touched,_

_And to be taken care of-”_

“Would you please stop that!” Robin snapped at his minstrels. God, those musical imps would take any opportunity they could to torment him. “THK is not my _‘love,’_ we’re just having tea.” He could practically hear them roll their eyes from behind him.

He stopped and turned to face them, his face slightly flushed from their teasing. “And even if they were, it wouldn’t be any of your business. And even if I did like them, they wouldn’t be in to _me_ of all people, so why would I bother putting myself out there if I’m just going to be rejected and embarrassed and feel worse about myself than I already do... alright, so drop it.” Robin turned back around and continued his galloping, leaving his minstrels confused and slightly concerned.

If this hasn’t already been made obvious to you, Robin had a little crush on the Three Headed Knight. And by “little” I mean incredibly large. He didn’t know how or why it started, every previous encounter with a similar feat had been met with a quick retreat and horribly frightening dreams, but it was different with them. After the initial and justified shock of seeing a ten foot tall beast-man with three heads, he had accepted their invitation for tea and had a wonderful time. It was nice having a kind, polite conversation with someone after spending all that time with the knights (you know exactly what I’m implying by this.)

Before they knew it, they had been meeting up for tea and biscuits about once a week for two months. It had been very nice, and after a while, Robin began to realize what he was feeling; when the instinct to run transformed into a desire to stay. He also had been having more “pleasurable” dreams after they started meeting, which he couldn’t complain about.

But Robin couldn’t tell anyone about this. The other knights were incredibly protective of him, and he was worried of what would happen if he told them he was in love with the “vicious, knight massacring, three headed monster in the woods.” Lancelot had worked the fact that he had a crush out of him, but that was all he knew and he was sworn to best friend secrecy. But, hey, he never has to tell anyone if he doesn’t act on his feelings and just remains in a constant state of unrequited yearning, right?

Robin and his minstrels soon arrived at the small clearing where he and THK had their visits. They had cleaned up the area a little since he started coming over; removing all the impaled corpses and bloody weapons, and putting down a small table and chairs for them (They made a special chair for Robin because all the furniture they did have was oversized, and that only made his heart ache for them even more.)

He heard a gentle rustling from behind the trees, and saw the Three Headed Knight emerge holding a tray with a teapot, cups, and a small plate of biscuits and jam. The three faces of the knight immediately lit up as he saw that his guest had arrived. “Robin!” they exclaimed in unison. They set down the tray and held out their arms, which Robin quickly ran into. It was almost a hug, but Robin’s arm-span wasn’t long enough to get his arms around their body so it looked more like he was just laying against them, but the gesture was there.

After a few moments of their embrace, Robin remembered that his minstrels had followed him there, and they were most likely coming up with a million new things to tease him with just seeing this. He put his arms down and cleared his throat. “It’s, uh, very nice to see you again!” He sweetly smiled up at the larger knight, who smiled back and turned around to get the tray. While he was facing away, Robin nodded for his minstrels to leave, to which they responded by miming various sexual motions at him. Robin glared at them, and they eventually walked away into the woods. Robin sat down in his chair as THK poured him a cup of tea. “Thank you so much for inviting me back!”

“Oh, hush,” the right head dismissed, “It’s an absolute pleasure having you here!”

“Yes, you’re wonderful company,” the middle head added, moving onto the three cups at their end of the table.

Robin tried to conceal the blush creeping onto his face, and grabbed a biscuit to distract himself. _“T-thanks,”_ he muttered before taking a small bite. He didn’t know if he could last much longer doing this.

* * *

“Can we open our eyes now?” The left head whined. He was always the fussier one of the three.

“Just... one... second... Ok, open!”

The three heads opened their eyes and saw that Robin was proudly holding up three daisy chains. They all smiled with delight.

“Oh, Robin, that’s lovely!” The right head mused, “How did you learn how to do that?”

Robin blushed again and inspected his work, “On the quest. I had bad nightmares a lot of the time, so I made these to help calm me down. I was incredibly sleep deprived, but at least I wasn’t crying myself to sleep every night...” He awkwardly laughed, realizing that self-deprecating humor probably wasn’t the best way to win someone over. Thankfully, they laughed with him, and gave him a sympathetic grin that melted his heart. “...I’m sure you would, too.” The small knight hopped up off his chair and walked over to a stump. He motioned for THK to follow, and he stepped up on it so they were almost at eye level. Robin began laying the flowers over their heads, each of them smiling or giggling when he did.

He finally got to the right head and, to be honest, he got a bit distracted. He was normally so far away from their faces that he forgot one of the reasons why he had fallen for them. Their faces were all similar, but they each had their own little distinctions. Right had very nice cheekbones and the cutest facial hair. Robin got so lost in the moment, that he abandoned his restraint and gave him a small kiss on his forehead.

It felt so amazingly sweet in the moment, but Robin quickly realized what he was doing and pulled away. Right was staring at him, his face a deep red that Robin was increasingly matching. He glanced over at the other two, who were wearing similar expressions. He was completely frozen, unable to say or do anything. A million thoughts were screaming in his head; _What the hell did you just do? Did you really just kiss him? Why the hell did you do that? You just made the most horrible mistake of your life, you absolute imbecile!_ Robin’s instincts began to kick in, and all he could mutter out was “I-I’m sorry,” before running away.

* * *

“Buddy, don’t worry about it too much, I’m sure that nothing is ruined between you two,” Lancelot consoled his crying friend. Robin had spent the past two and a half days in his room, crying and practically screaming at himself for being so stupid. _This is why you’re a coward, this is why you should never be bold._ He had insisted on being left alone for this time, and had only just allowed Lance to come into his room. He sniffled and raised his head from his tear-stained pillow, “I can’t believe I’ve ruined everything, why do I have to be such an idiot?!”

“Hey, don’t be so harsh on my best friend,” Lance playfully shoved Robin’s side, “Plus, you don’t know you ruined it. Did they say anything?”

“No, but I know they don’t reciprocate. I’m not exactly their ‘type.’”

“Well, what is their type then?”

_“Not a tiny, pathetic coward,”_ Robin dramatically resumed sobbing into his pillow, and his friend placed a gentle hand on his back. Robin tried to compose himself as he sat up to look at Lance. “I would have been fine being friends. They really made me feel good about myself, and even just being around them made me so happy. But I had to go and _screw it up_ ,” Robin slammed his fists down on the pillow in his arms, “And now they’ll never want to see me again.”

Almost as if on cue, there was a knock at the door and Patsy peeked inside. “I’m sorry, sirs, but I have a message for Robin.” He held up a scroll tied with a slightly tattered ribbon that Robin was very familiar with. The Three Headed Knight reused the same ribbon on every invitation he sent to him, saying it was their nicest one, and Robin always brought it back.

At the sight of it, Robin’s eyes widened and he reached out for the note. Lancelot, who had been privy to Robin’s praising of his mystery crush, recognized the ribbon too (without the context, of course) and smirked at his friend. “Not going to say I told you so, because being married has made me better than that-”

_“Uh huh yeah thanks guy,”_ Robin waved the two out of the room and he gently took the ribbon off the paper. He unrolled it, trailing his eyes over the three alternating handwritings.

_Dearest Robin,_

_We’d like to invite you back to our forest this afternoon for some tea. Of course, we understand if you don’t want to or aren’t comfortable doing this, but please know that we harbor no ill will towards you. Quite the opposite actually. We hope you’ll accept our invitation and arrive at our usual spot at, say, 1:30._

_Love, THK_

* * *

Robin briskly walked through the forest, getting closer to his destination with each passing second. He was running what he has going to say over and over in his head; explaining that it was a mistake and he didn’t mean to do it and that he hoped they could just forget all about it. He’d rather be heartbroken and alone than have to face his actual emotions, you know?

He finally got to the clearing, and saw that the Three Headed Knight was already sitting down. They smiled as they saw him approach, and Robin blushed as he sat down once again. “Um... hello again,” He muttered, trying to avoid looking them in the eyes. “I-I’m very sorry about what happened, but I can explain-”

“-Aren’t you going to give us a turn?”

Robin turned his head up from his lap, “Pardon me?”

“Yes, it’s not fair that he got a kiss and we didn’t.”

He squinted up at the larger man, unsure of what they were trying to construe. _They couldn’t possibly... They wouldn’t be... Really?_ “Are... are you being serious? You’re messing with me, aren’t you. Listen, I’m really very sorry, and I know I’ve probably-”

Robin was cut off when THK gently and slowly picked him up from across the table, letting out a small yelp as he was lifted into the air. He was being held in front of the great knight, their three sets of eyes looking at him with some unidentifiable intensity. Robin normally would have been terrified at such a situation, but something about them made him feel... comforted and protected. That feeling was only enhanced as he was held against their wide chest in a soft hug.

“Stop apologizing. It was very sweet, and I won’t take you berating yourself any longer.”

Robin slowly began to untense; he wrapped his arms around their shoulders and clung to their tabard. He took a deep breath to steady himself, realizing that his racing heart was most likely very noticeable. “So... you all...”

“Of course; we all thought you were absolutely adorable from the moment we met you.”

“Then you revealed how smart and talented you were.”

“Yes, you were perfect. But we just assumed you weren’t interested in... someone like us.”

Robin couldn’t help but laugh, “I was thinking the same thing!” He was pulled away from their chest so they could look at them again.

“Nonsense! How could someone not be hopelessly in love with you?”

The knight blushed again, and slowly leaned forward to place a small kiss between the middle head’s eyes. He repeated the process on the left head, and received positive reactions from both. “There, now we’re even.”

“Not quite,” They all said in unison, before taking turn giving him little smooches on his face, neck, and chest. Robin loudly laughed at the barrage of affection. Maybe being bold did have its rewards after all.


End file.
